9 Tips to Working Alongside Your Spouse – Part II
Working with your spouse … depending on how you look at it, it is either the greatest thing you could imagine or the worst thing that could ever happen to your relationship.
In Part I of this post, we talked about respecting your partner and creating separate workspaces among other things…Check out Part I here.
To finish out this 2-part series we will close with the last 5 tips to help create a more harmonious working relationship with your spouse.
Sometimes we hurt those closest to us knowing that the relationship may be able to stand the mistreatment because of the love shared.
Honestly, this should go without saying, but…
BE NICE TO YOUR PARTNER
Treat your spouse with the same, or even higher degree of courtesy and respect as you would anyone else with whom you work. Be flexible in your ideas and ways and expect to compromise more than you would with an unrelated co-worker.
R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
All couples know that having and showing respect for your partner is a must-have in any marriage, but it is easy to let tempers flare when business is involved.
Even if you already have an understanding with your spouse, use a tone that is empathetic and respectful in your personal relationship. Remember your “please” and “thank you”.
Having a conversation with your other half about maintaining the same level of dignity in the office as you do at home will prevent feelings from getting hurt and small disagreements from turning into full-blown issues.
Even if one of you is subordinate to the other, maintain that respect- you are both doing an honest day’s work and deserve to be treated with courtesy, honor, and kindness.
Listen to Your Partner
Avoid arguments with this one simple act. Even if you disagree with the idea, always let your partner finish expressing the thought. If you cut him or her short or are quick to criticize, you are likely to start a shouting match.
IDENTIFY COMMON GOALS
No road map is created without a destination in mind, so agreeing upon what you are working toward will keep you both on track for success.
Having shared goals can be a key factor to establishing a good working relationship for couples.
Spending time envisioning your future and creating a list of both short-and long-term goals can ease challenges that arise along the way, while keeping you and your partner on the same page.
Whether it is financial freedom, greater flexibility, or the ability to spend more time together, keeping your dreams in mind and regularly assessing progress can keep you inspired and connected.
SEPARATE HOME AND WORK
Your home and work relationship are different animals, and as such, they will have different dynamics.
While the rule of thumb has always been “keep your work and personal lives separate,” it is becoming increasingly unrealistic in our tech-centered world to be able to unplug from work once the 5 p.m. whistle sounds — especially when you own your own business.
You do need to be able to “put on a different hat” when you are at home and at work. What is important is that whatever happens at home does not carry over to work, and vice versa.
If you are annoyed with your spouse for forgetting to feed the dogs or leaving crumbs on the dining table, that should have no bearing on what happens at work.
Do not bring your home life to work.
Likewise, if she did not get the sale or he forgot to return a phone call, that should have no bearing on what is going on at home.
You cannot mix the two.
This is how successful people end their workday.
Of course, this is much easier said than done, but with a little practice, you will learn to keep work and home separate.
Strive for an overall balance between your work and personal lives.
For us, rather than trying to maintain an even work/home setting on a day-to-day basis, we ‘makeup’ for those long, hectic weeks of putting in extra hours with relaxing little getaway.
Rewarding yourself with some R&R after busy seasons will ensure you don’t fall into an “all work, no play” mindset, which can be detrimental to your mental health — and your relationship.
Set Aside Business-Free Time
It is impossible to “leave it at the office” when your home is your office. But you still need to spend time enjoying being a couple.
It is important to remember that you are together for many reasons—not just for a business.
Have rules such as “no business talk at dinner,” or schedule a weekly date night with your spouse. And if your business is in your home, consider renting office space to differentiate your work and home lives.
Turn It Off
It is easy to let your new project take over your life. And in the beginning, it might even be necessary.
But over time it is important to flip off the lights from work and enjoy your personal life. Otherwise, you may turn into co-workers who just happen to live together.
Give yourself mandatory days off or a mutual ‘quitting time’ so you can enjoy meals and activities together.
See your friends or go for a walk. It is easy to work all day and night and forgo a social life, healthy food, exercise, and even sex when you are in work mode (and sometimes well beyond it).
Take Time for Yourself
Make sure you have time just for you.
Whether it is a solo trip to the gym or a night out with friends, give yourselves some time apart. Everyone — even the world’s most enviable couples — needs space from each other.
This space will help not only the business but also the relationship.
REAP THE REWARDS
Appreciate your unique relationship. The entrepreneurial lifestyle can be intense and having someone to share it with helps make it more manageable but also rewarding — sharing your passion for the business with the one you love can be powerful.
Also, do not forget to celebrate your successes together! When you reach important milestones or exceed your expected revenue for the month, it is time to set work aside and toast your success. Whether it is at home or out on the town, revel in your success.
You started your business together to create something for your future, to spend time with the person you love, and because you believe in each other.
MARRIAGE COMES FIRST
The most important thing to keep in mind, no matter what is going on in your business, is that your marriage must come first.
If you try all these strategies and working together still is not working out for you, then the most important thing is that you protect your marriage.
That might mean that one of you must step out of the business and find another venue for your talents.
If you are a home-based business, it might mean that, like we did, you procure an office space, so you get more distance between work and home life.
What is most important is that you find the solution that preserves your relationship and protects your business.
Again, above all, marriage comes first.
Your shared career with your spouse will only be as strong as your personal relationship, so putting in the time and effort to build a strong emotional foundation will dictate your success.
Support each other unconditionally, stay attentive to each other’s needs, embrace compromise and keep in mind that even if you are a CEO, you are a spouse above all.
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There are estimates that only approximately 5 percent of couples who enter full partnership businesses succeed.
With that said, according to the Harvard Business Review, over 3 million of the 22 million small businesses in the U.S. are owned by husband-and-wife teams.
So even with those staggering statistics, millions of couples have found a way to overcome the odds of running a thriving business while fostering a strong marriage.
If you incorporate these tips, you are surely on the right tract to creating a relationship AND a business that is always in the black.
As a working couple, what are some of the things you do to get work/life balance? What are some of your biggest challenges?
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Cheers, Veronica B. 💕